"Por ejemplo, si mi vecino se encapricha de mi vaca, contratará a un abogado para probar que mi vaca es suya. Entonces no tendré más remedio que contratar a otro abogado para defenderme, porque el Derecho impide que nadie pueda defenderse por sí mismo. Y en este pleito yo, que soy el legítimo propietario, me encuentro con dos serios inconvenientes. El primero que mi abogado, por haberse ejercitado poco menos que desde la cuna en defender las causas falsas, se ve fuera de su elemento ahora que tiene que defender una causa justa, lo que siendo para él un encargo antinatural, lo desempeña con gran cuidado, si no con disgusto. El segundo inconveniente es que mi abogado debe proceder con cautela, de manera que los Jueces no le llamen la atención, ni los compañeros le den de lado como si hubiese ofendido la práctica forense. Por todo ello únicamente tengo dos caminos para retener la vaca que es mía. El primero es sobornar al abogado de mi adversario pagándole el doble de su minuta, que así traicionará a su cliente insinuando que la justicia está de su parte. El segundo camino es que mi abogado haga que mi pretensión aparente ser tan injusta como sea posible, sosteniendo que mi vaca pertenece a mi adversario, y de ese modo, si defiende el pleito con habilidad, tal vez ganemos el favor del tribunal".For Example, if my Neighbour hath a Mind to my Cow, he hires a Lawyer to prove that he ought to have my Cow from me. I must then hire another to defend my Right, it being against all Rules of Law that any Man should be allowed to speak for himself. Now in this Case, I who am the right Owner lie under two great Disadvantages. First, my Lawyer being practiced almost from his Cradle in defending Falshood; is quite out of his Element when he would be an Advocate for Justice, which as an Office unnatural, he always attempts with great Awkwardness if not with Ill-will. The second Disadvantage is, that my Lawyer must proceed with great Caution: Or else he will be reprimanded by the Judges, and abhorred by his Brethren, as one that would lessen the Practice of the Law. And therefore I have but two Methods to preserve my Cow. The first is, to gain over my Adversary's Lawyer with a double Fee; who will then betray his Client by insinuating that he hath Justice on his Side. The second way is for my Lawyer to make my Cause appear as unjust as he can; by the Cow to belong to my Adversary; and this, if it be skilfully done, will certainly bespeak the Favour of the Bench.
Jonathan Swift, "A voyage to the houyhnhnms"
